Ups and Downs

I’ve just come back from seeing my Dad in Stratford upon Avon. He’d been coping well with the death of my Mum: indeed I’ve said earlier that he had something of a new lease of life, watching TV and being able to live his life, within his physical limitations, more as he wanted to. But this time he seemed to me to be a little in decline: his speech was quiet and throaty and he didn’t have the lucidity that he’d had for most of my previous visit.

We did manage to get a lot of business done. I’m still writing lots of letters to people where he had investments jointly with Mum, sending out a copy of the death certificate which is becoming a tad dog-eared by now, getting people to reply to me as I’m doing most of his finances now. It was, I think, a mistake to present him with six letters at once to sign: he read them for about an hour, with an uncomprehending look on his face, and in the end it was his lunchtime and he still hadn’t signed any of them. He wouldn’t let me read them to him and explain them: next time I think I’ll do that anyway, and one letter at a time. But eventually, after lunch, he did sign them all and I was able to get them in the post.

I felt slightly guilty that the visit was also a good social time for me. On the first afternoon, I met a friend for coffee: she had just had a lovely baby boy, four weeks old, and it was a real joy to meet them both. She was telling me all about the problems she and her husband had been facing and how they were coping – or not: they are going to be cat-sitting in Scotland later this month and will stay the night with me en route, which will be lovely. She and I just never seem to run out of things to talk about: she’s one of those people whom it’s great to have as a friend.

And then the next evening I was out to dinner, with Quaker friends in Birmingham. I did my green bit by going by train: the last train home to Stratford itself is at a ridiculously early hour, about 8 if I remember rightly, so I drove to Warwick Parkway and went up the excellent Chiltern line from there – no problem with last trains, the last is 11.23 pm! Good and cheap – but why don’t they encourage the use of their evening trains by making parking free, or at least reduced, at their stations? I had to pay for a full day’s parking even though I was on the 6.32 pm train, and that’s hardly an encouragement to use public transport and not drive all the way. If there had been two of us I’d have certainly driven, as it would have been both cheaper and quicker and less constrained by train times: for one, thankfully, it’s still cheaper and easier by train. But come on, train companies: do your bit! Make the parking free after 6 pm and watch your revenue rise.

It was a lovely dinner: my friend Marlene (one of three friends I have with that name!) had done a tasty mixed starter with prawns, coleslaw and crudités and then chicken in a wonderful creamy sauce, followed by an assortment of fresh soft fruit – raspberries, strawberries, blackberries, grapes and mandarin segments – with cream and ice cream. I went home full to bursting – a definite overeat. One of these days, soon, I’ll start dieting seriously, but as I write I’m aware of having had a cooked breakfast – bacon, egg, black pudding, mushrooms and tomato on toast – and now eating a starter – whitebait – before my main veggie course of Creamy Leek Croustade, as featured in the Cranks recipe book. Tasty, but not the way to reduce a very bulging stomach. I might even contemplate joining a gym, and seeing if I can’t really get this tum down and my fitness up. Then I could walk even more.. green or what!